Waiting for Irene

Thursday was a killer . I scheduled a blanket delivery run to Middleburg, VA so that I could empty the shop of as much customer inventory as possible in anticipation of Hurricane Irene flooding us out( or worse).

I had about 200 cleaned and repaired blankets loaded into the 10 x 12 box trailer hooked to my F250 which normally pulls the horse trailer. But by dinner time on Wednesday, it became clear that Irene intends to have a major impact on the Eastern Shore. I made a quick decision to try to find refuge for my two horses and since I was already headed to Middleburg, it seemed like the obvious choice as time would become precious over the upcoming days.

Social networking enabled me to find a barn in the area that would welcome my guys on short notice. ( Thank you Devon, Patricia and Blue Ridge Farm). I had to unhook the box trailer, hook the truck up to the horse trailer and unload all the blankets from the former into the gooseneck dressing room area of the latter. Can't believe I got them all in and still had room enough for 3 bales of hay and a bag of feed.

By 3:45 am Thursday, I was on the road headed west with both horses and the blankets. By 7:30, I was entering Middleburg, and by 8:30 I was leaving my horses behind In Upperville as I worked eastward making my deliveries. Even had enough time to stop for a great breakfast at Salamander's before my last few deliveries on the east side of town.

An uneventful trip around the Beltway found me back home at 2pm. I spent the next 4 hours securing objects around the pool, house and barn, all the while thinking that I would get a good nights' sleep at home in my own bed before having to make another 3 Hr plus drive to PA....
WRONG!

I stopped to grab a sandwich around 6 and switched on the local news. Mandatory evacuation orders had just been announced for Ocean City, MD and Rehoboth and Dewey Beaches in DE. Uh-oh. With only one road out to the north, my plans to take my84 yo mom and my foxhounds out of harms way to relatives in PA just got moved up about 15 hours.

By 7:30, I was pointing my truck northward with hounds on board and my mom followingclose behind in her van. By the time we hit RT 1, there was already a steady line of taillights moving in front of us. At least the severe thunderstorm warned appeared as if it would missus completely. Even tho mom would have to drive in the dark, at least the roads would be dry. WRONG AGAIN....

All seemed well until we neared Wilmington. Raindrs began pelting the wimdshield with increasing intensity . By the time we reached the on ramp of I-95, it was raining so hard traffic was almost at a standstill. I took the orotundity to call mom on her cell to warn her of the difficult trafficpattern we were about to enter - I wanted her to stay right on my tail and follow me thru the many necessary lane changes in the now bumper to bumper traffic.
It was pouring torrentially. Why did I not see this on the radar screen I had checked before we left??

Mom answered her phone: " Didn't you hear me beeping???" with urgency in hervoice. "o no," I thought, " this is too much fo r her to handle. WHY did I attempt this tonight???"

" I have to pee."

O, mom. I didnt know how to tell her that her last opportunity to go was 2 miles back at Christiana Mall.

I was so tired, and it was hard for me to not feel irritated by this new problem.

"There IS NO WHERE to go now, we just got on the Interstate"

"okay then, I'll just pee my pants then" Click. She hung up onme.

Now it's raining so hard that I can't discern the lines defining the traffic
Lanes. Our speed on the 10-lane wide road was down to 15mph in a driving thunderstorm. What the he'll do I do now?

About 5 miles down the road, i495 splits off around wilmington. Most of the traffic seemed to stay on i95. I could see that the shoulder of the road was as wide as a traffic lane, so I eased thebig rig over to the side and dialed her cell. She didn't answer. When I looked inmy side view mirror, I couldmsee why: she was out of her van and running to the side of the road.
It hit me that she planned on going right there next to the road. Jeez. I slid over to the passenger side and jumped out the door -and right into an ankle deep torrent of rapidly moving runoff. After recovering from that shock, I looked up to see my mothers bare behind
Mooning in the vans headlights. Mind you, it is still raining down in buckets and we were both soaked in a matter of seconds. I screamed so she could hear me over the deluge and the sound of the traffic: "ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"I don't care,I have to go NOW" she snapped.

Was i really standing ankle deep in rushing water on the side of the Interstate, in the dark, in the pouring rain, with my mothers bare ass shining up at me???? She looked at me and we both burst out laughing hysterically.

"How can you tell if you're getting wet from the rain or pee?" I shouted in disbelief at what I was witnessing. "Come on, you are getting soaked" . ... "and I don't need you getting pneumonia" was left unspoken.

Where Mel and Rap vacationed during Hurricane Irene!

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